1. Peak Experience
I suppose that to talk about the what is perhaps the greatest joy brought to me by math, we would have to go back to when I was in the second grade. My parents instilled the importance of education in me from a very early age. My job was to make good grades, so I could get into a good college, and in turn get a good job. I went to St. John's Episcopal School and we used to take timed math tests on these things called, "Holy Cards." They actually were shaped like a birthday card and had rows of holes all the way through them; they had simple computation math problems on top and what you did was put a piece of paper between the card and answer all the questions, front and back, before the two minutes timer went off. I cannot remember whether I did both the addition and subtraction cards or the multiplication and division cards, but I did get a hundred on both of them one day. Quite a feat as a little tike. I was ecstatic, I begged the teacher to let me call my dad and tell him I had achieved perfection. The teacher didn't let me, the wench, but I will forever remember the overwhelming joy I felt that day.
2. Nadir Experience
I would have to say my worst experience with math would be when I failed my first math class, which was in college. Technically it was a D, but I had to retake it to continue the progression. I took it again and got a B, at the time it was devastating for me. At that time as a student I did not reach out and go to office hours, not that I really do now, but in those types of large impersonal classes you need to get your face in their and you need to get help if you are struggling. I have always been to prideful in my mathematical abilities, and it took a while but fall I did, and hard. I was going through other things in my life at the time, and the one of the few constants in my life was no more. I got over it but it was not good for my view of math.
3. Turning Point
I think that my turning point was a slow and wide turn that really started my freshman year in high school. I coasted through every math class I had ever taken and got a 790 on my PSAT math, ( I think I got a 760 or 780 on the real thing). I was in and AP Calculus class with some of my friends and I didn't like the teacher and I did my coasting/sleeping through lecture and half-assing homework. I ended up getting a 2 on the AP test at the end of the year (3 is passing). It was never really the same after that. I went into college as an Applied Mathematics major, but my heart wasn't in it. I realized I did not want to do something as trivial as crunching numbers in a cubicle for fifty years. I would of probably shot myself. That turn led to several more turns, which led me to where I am today.
4. Other Important Scenes.
I was really proud of my SAT scores, but at the same time gave myself [a hard time] for not achieving perfection, for missing that one smart question. I wish I could call it stupid, but that would just be ignorant. I also had multiple years with math class averages at or over a 100. (Elementary, Middle, and High).
5. Greatest Challenge
I would have to say either the college calculus course I mentioned above. I wish it was something I succeeded at but realistically, it doesn't get more basic than this. It was just me and the material, I didn't bother going to a majority of the lectures and definitely didn't go to any office hours or TA sessions. I missed so much class time that when I showed up for one of the tests, I asked who the guy up front administering the test was. Her reply, "That is the professor, our old one passed away." My response, "What happened did he get in a car accident or something?" Her response with a look of disgust, "No, he died of cancer." That gives you a timeframe for how long I had been away from class. It was my superior intellect versus the test, just like it had been nearly my whole career and the test beat my ass. Serves me right.
6. Special Education Teacher
I want to be a special education teacher, because I have experienced secondhand (my brother, Blake) how terrible some of them are out there. Those kids deserve better. In my opinion it takes nothing but the very best teachers to meaningfully teach kids in special ed. I am not the best, but I can tell you what. If I have learned anything from math (my greatest challenge) it is that to be the best you have to work hard, you have to put in the time, and you have to ask questions. I seek knowledge now more than ever before, because it is something meaningful and something I am passionate about.
I really enjoyed your reasoning for becoming a special education teacher. I absolutely agree with your statement that the very best teachers should be teaching in special education classrooms.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate your honesty about your math experiences. I always seem to hear people talk about how much they love math and how good they are at it. And of course, based on the stereotype, I always assume guys have no problems in math and that it comes naturally to them. I think it is great that you learned so much from such a difficult experience in your college math class. It is also interesting to read about the different experiences we all have gone through that have led us each to this major, which for most of us we transferred into from a different one.
ReplyDeleteI loved your whole post about the reason you want to be a Special Education teacher. "I seek knowledge now more than ever before, because it is something meaningful and something I am passionate about." I feel the exact same way! I loved that you spoke these words, because it allowed me to see your purpose in this field and I was able to relate to you on a whole new level. I think this new generation of special education teachers is going to make incredible differences in the lives of children, and change the way the world views special education as a whole.
ReplyDeleteOh, man, I remember holy cards! Those things were the bane of my existence in third grade, but after I mastered them, I used to go and buy more so I could practice more. ...Sad but true.
ReplyDeleteAnd I know what you mean about not wanting to go for help in college. It's so intimidating, especially for people who have been pretty confident in their math abilities in the past. That's why I like our cohort--you can't get through the day without asking someone for help. It's kind of comforting.
Thanks so much for your honesty in posting this, Eric. I like your reflections on your math story, but I can also sense some anger at how some things went down.
ReplyDeleteI can definitely relate to a lot of what you went through. I remember getting a 780 on my SAT math score back in high school too. And driving away from the test site, I remember realizing which problem I got wrong too! Drat! It killed me to know that I got a question wrong, and then when they sent me the score (back in those days, you had to wait for the score to come in the mail) I couldn't believe that I only got one question wrong. And I knew which question it was too! I even went to take the SAT again a few months later, and got the exact same score.
Anyway, I hear you talk about how mathematics was something that always seemed to be there for you, something that you seemed to naturally excel at. But when college time came, the lesson you seemed to figure out was that: 1) the way math was taught was too cold and impersonal for you, 2) you loved math, but were not motivated to continue to pursue it as a career.
These are crucial revelations I think a lot of us went through. You're on a good pathway now in your education career, Eric. And I'm glad that you feel passionate to work with our students with special needs. In trying to understand our students mathematical strategies, I'm certain that the same little boy who aced the holy cards and loved math because it was about fun ways of thinking and problem solving, will come out again.
Eric, I can relate to your college experience. I retook college Algebra 3 times before passing it. The funny thing is I wasn't failing, I was just dropping out as soon as my confidence in my ability to understand the course work started to fade. I never had a teacher that I wanted to reach out to, but in the end (when I finally passed) I went to a tutor. I found that they don't give off an aura of judgment when they help you. Instead they're patient, kind, and nearly almost always available to help. It's this experience that helped me swallow my pride and finally succeed in math.
ReplyDeleteI also relate to your reasons for becoming a SED teacher. My younger sister had horrible teachers throughout her school years, and subsequently learned to hate school. I've also been in internships where I thought stabbing myself in the brain would be more fun than watching those teachers 'teach'. I've decided just to take those experiences as what NOT to do as a SED teacher! You learn and become inspired by all experiences, even if they're bad ones. I'm sure you'll do great!